3rd Chakra: Sense of Self
There is a lot of societal pressure to measure up. We are conditioned to compare ourselves to others and to the external standards of worthiness, beauty, success, etc., valued by cultural norms. Our value is dependent upon what we do, rather than who we are. Being who we are doesn’t seem to be good enough. Expressing our talents and doing our best, doesn’t seem to be good enough. And somehow the expectation is to get it right all the time, leaving no space within ourselves to 'miss the mark' and ripen. We've learned in order to be valued we have to be a super star, and even that doesn’t seem to be enough.
The result is feelings of inadequacy, inferiority, and worthlessness. In my opinion, low self-worth is one of the biggest epidemics needing to be addressed at this time. If you have ever wondered, “Am I good enough?” you are not alone. So many people, including myself, struggle with feeling good enough about their personal characteristics, abilities, and values. And as I wrote about in Generational Trauma, worthiness issues are often passed down from generation to generation and someone needs to break the cycle. The key is cultivating the courage to look within, ultimately with compassion, and do the inner work.
The fact is, nothing outside of ourselves can truly fill the void within. No level of success can bring you the joy you deeply yearn for. No one and no thing can validate you until you validate yourself. It all has to come from within. And as my mentor, Theresa Joseph, says, no one can abandon or reject you except yourself. Think about that for a second. Only you can abandon and reject yourself by giving away your power to another person. When we stop looking outside of ourselves for acceptance and validation and look inward for what we so desperately seek, we will know peace and be truly empowered.
The third chakra is the center of our sense of self—how we feel about, care for, honor, and believe in who we are. It’s where the fear of rejection, the fear of humiliation, our sensitivity to criticism, our ability to feel worthy of receiving abundance, and self-consciousness around physical appearance resides. It’s natural to go through phases of not feeling good about ourselves. It can be what motivates us to do better. But many secretly live in a constant state of inadequacy.
This feeling of inadequacy can be crippling. We all have addictions that we use to push down those feelings. The obvious addictions are food, alcohol, drugs, workaholism, over exercising, shopping, and obsessions. Almost anything can be used in an addictive, numbing way. Whatever the addiction, it’s our responsibility to get clear on how we sabotage ourselves.
As adults, taking accountability for our choices is a big part of honoring ourselves. Many of us have had a lot of trauma in our lives. From a spiritual perspective, those events were there for our soul’s highest evolution. It is up to each of us how we choose to deal with our past. We can choose to be victims, or we can choose to overcome those hurdles and let those events bring us closer to our center. It’s certainly no easy task; I know this firsthand. I also know, it is a worthwhile journey that results in inner freedom.
For many, struggling to feel worthy of healing and self-acceptance is the entry point. We can silently punish ourselves by staying stuck in the past and in a negative self-image. If that’s the case, meet yourself where you are at. If you want more for yourself but feel stuck, ask the Divine/Universal Intelligence to change you to one who fully loves, forgives and accepts yourself. Tosha Silver has a powerful Divine Abundance prayer that I say most days. I personally don’t know how to evolve in any significant way without grace and prayer.
Self-acceptance, which is a necessary part of self-love, is a life long journey. What are you resisting to feel? What are you afraid of seeing within yourself? It’s like the monster under the bed. You will set yourself free by having the courage to look under the bed and befriend the monster, otherwise it will continue to haunt you. Confronting our feelings is the best gift we can give to ourselves, our partners, our children and the world. And you will soon see, facing the monster may be scary at first, but it will indeed set you free.
