Generational Trauma
Did you ever notice how we pick up dysfunctional emotional issues from our parents and then pass down those same issues to our children? It almost seems as though the more we ignore the trauma, the more we model or project those behaviors onto our children. Eek!
I can clearly see the dysfunctional issues and patterns in my family and how, before I started doing the Healing Grace work, I was passing on those same issues to my children. I’ve also noticed my sons grow as I grow, heal as I heal, and become more confident as I become more confident. It's like they're mirrors for me. Am I completely healed? Far from it! Will they have issues to work through around their relationship with me? Absolutely!
The problems arise when we are unaware of the traumas and issues we’re passing down. If we lack self-awareness or are unwilling to accept responsibility, we feel more adamantly that the problem is with another person. So, how do we own our inner world, take responsibility for ourselves and break the cycle of enduring generational trauma? Someone has to do it, or else it will continue from generation to generation.
Part of healing generational trauma is a matter of having compassion for our parents, knowing they are the way they are for a reason, and did the best they could with what they had, even if it doesn't feel that way. And it requires giving ourselves that same understanding and compassion so that we can accept ourselves fully, knowing it's not our fault for developing the coping mechanisms we needed to survive.
I've been able to free myself from much of the generational trauma and false notes placed upon me (as I've heard them referred to in healing sessions), but some issues are harder to heal than others and require a deeper understanding and patience. Tara Brach says "the place of trauma transforms into the gateway for spiritual healing. Where the wound is, is the entry. Its where we can reconnect with ourselves".
With humility, try to understand yourself deeper. I know how scary it can feel, but inner freedom and a higher consciousness awaits you on the other side. Grace will guide you in profound ways if you ask, but it won't take away the pain- that would be spiritual bypassing. Using the pain as our point of entry, as Tara Brach says, is how our soul evolves and grows and is the path to spiritual awakening. Healing generational trauma is no easy task, but it's a worthwhile journey and one that will pay off for generations to come.
Listen to Tara Brach's talk on trauma and PTSD- this talk explores how trauma cuts us off from wholeness, and is accompanied by a deep and painful experience of shame.
