Unresolved Personal Issues
We’ve all known people and observed situations with so much potential that have been sabotaged due to unresolved personal issues. These unresolved issues can interfere with career goals, individual goals and relationships. Though we witness, and sometimes judge, others in these situations, if we’re brave enough we’ll probably see, at a minimum, parts of ourselves in those observations. And yet, it’s not the personal issues that are necessarily the problem, at least initially. It’s the refusal to acknowledge and take responsibility for our personal issues (and triggers) that dictates the quality of our outcomes and lives.
The ego will blame others for our problems, as well as for not reaching our goals, hopes and dreams. It will always be someone else’s fault. That’s a convenient mindset, created by our subconscious, so we aren’t forced to take responsibility for our actions and decisions; but we will also never experience the outcomes we truly desire. Emotional maturity requires self-awareness and accountability, and is very much a part of personal and professional success.
The Universe will inevitably and repeatedly bring to us the people and situations that shine the light on our unresolved issues. Until we decide to acknowledge these patterns and choose to work through them, they will persist, usually getting louder and harder, until we learn the lesson. (In my circle, we call it getting hit by a 2x4). I believe every challenging situation and interaction is ultimately there to achieve our highest good. Before you gasp in justified indignation, here me out. Perhaps it's a lesson or trigger around control, inadequacy, feeling lovable or not, expectations, boundaries or the need to be heard and respected. If you take a step back, you’ll start to see the theme and the pattern, which often began in childhood. That is not to say we are victims of our childhood. As adults it is our choice to heal and embrace the lessons that come our way.
It feels counter-intuitive, but keeping the focus on yourself, rather than another’s perceived bad behavior, will keep you from having to learn that lesson over and over again. No matter how wrong or badly behaved another person is, our self-awareness and the quality of our reaction is what matters. We can react from a place of fear, which almost always comes from our unresolved personal issues/triggers, or from a place of empowerment, which comes from self-love and compassion, understanding the trigger within ourselves.
Changing our perspective to recognize what is being revealed within, and learning how to approach situations with more curiosity and compassion, will propel our lives forward; while clinging to a victimized mindset will keep us stunted and repeating the same patterns with the same outcomes. I know it can be painful AF, even shameful and humiliating, to face ourselves and our limitations! It’s much easier to turn a blind eye and refuse to see ourselves, but it’s not less painful than choosing to do the inner work; that’s an illusion.
I like to think of doing emotional healing work as similar to going to the gym when we’re physically out of shape. It's painful in the moment and requires commitment and dedication, yet knowing the outcome is increased vitality and confidence. The same is true when we allow ourselves to become self-aware with a growth mentality. The outcome, when we do the work, improves every aspect of our lives, from our health, to our careers, to our relationships, and most importantly how we feel in our own skin! Choosing the right people to work with and tools to use to achieve these goals is very personal. There are many paths. Check out my website to see if the services and resources I provide resonate.
